I'm sorry to have disappointed my thousands of readers yesterday (on reflection, the 'millions' referred to in the previous blog was probably a little ambitious, but surely 'thousands' is a little closer...) by failing to write anything. Strictly speaking, I did write something, I just decided that the words looked better in my novel than on this blog - basically, the theory I'm working under is that if you think the content of this blog is even mildly entertaining then you will simply be unable to contain yourselves with excitement when the novel finally comes along. And, if the blog has been a crushing disappointment since day one, then perhaps you'll join me in beginning a nationwide campaign harassing every publisher until my novel is published and you can finally enjoy something I've written?
In the meantime, superheroes...
Stemming from the work I've done on my novel in the last day or two, in which I found myself referencing Flash Gordon, Superman, Batman and Spider-Man in the space of a page, I thought I'd write a brief blog about superheroes and ask for your suggestions for the ones who never made it onto our screens.
There are so many reasons to like the 4 that I've named:
Flash Gordon
1) The song by Queen
2) The fact that he has no actual powers but still manages to defeat anyone evil
3) The best line in a film ever - 'Flash, Flash I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the earth!'
4) Brian Blessed.
Superman
1) Take your glasses off, no-one can tell you're Clark Kent. Put them back on, you're Clark again! Who needs fancy disguises?
2) Being able to fly.
3) The awful acting of 'evil superman' in Superman 3 (I think), which simply makes you love the 'good superman' more!
4) His shameless wearing of his underwear on the outside
Batman
1) Batman Begins and The Dark Knight - or, to put it another way, Christopher Nolan.
2) The Bat Cave!
3) Alicia Silverstone as Bat Girl - what was that all about?!
4) 'Kerpow!', 'Whack!' and 'Thwop!'
Spider-Man
1) Carrying off a tight-fitting suit with remarkable grace and inspiring children everywhere to don the same outfit at parties.
2) Being the only superhero in this list to have a hyphen in their name (thank you to Adam for pointing this out).
3) Being able to swing on a spider's web - they always break when I try.
4) Successfully kissing the girl while hanging upside down.
As a brief test of the readership of this blog, why don't you use the comments facility below to let us know of your favourite and why you like them? Or which superhero should have been made that never was made? Hamster-Girl? Staple-gun-man? The Hole-Puncher? The possibilities are endless...
The best ideas will find their way into the novel. Well, you never know...
What about 'Bananaman'? Not pure fiction as it might seem as he actually exists! I would love to be Catwoman but that has already been done rather ably by others of less feline proportions than me. Or you could consider 'Barking Brute Boy' who sounds vicious, mad and rather dangerous - just like your average canine really.
ReplyDeleteCome on chaps, help the Master out here with a bit of imaginative thinking.
Superman tonight - is that the joint effort of two failing brands "Chicken Tonight" and the Superman movies for one last fling? Chicken not doing it for you? Try some man of steel - like floss only tougher, some might say wiry perhaps.
ReplyDeleteAlthough there were several super heroes who went from geek to dashing hero with amazing powers, I think there should have been more who had their hero status simply as geeks. That would give some of us that bit more hope. I vote in principle then for Rincewind from Pratchett's discworld series as the ultimate hero/anti-hero. Yup, he survives and saves the day without even knowing how or intending to and he isn't cool or even powerful. He's not even very good at being a geek!