Injury update: I have now racked up 10 dislocations.
That’s right. Ten. As in, one more than nine and one less than eleven. You know, the same number we flirted with (but narrowly missed by one after accidentally using the number 5 twice) in the ‘Perfect 10’ blog. That one. Ten.
You see, the problem is that I live recklessly. A few months back I decided to dry myself with a towel after a shower and a few weeks later I was bold enough to put on my coat. The result both times? Dislocation. Pain. Relocation.
This time? Sneezing. Not even a flurry of violent ones. Just one, single, isolated sneeze.
This is all coming hot on the heels, you might recall, of my wife’s attempted murder which has left me with a bump on the head that I came very close to requesting an X-Ray for in a sort of 2 for 1 deal at the hospital. Considering I have also had surgery in the past for a torn cruciate ligament in my left knee, I’m starting to wonder whether my toes might be in for some punishment in the future…
Before we get there though, let’s reflect on which shoulder dislocation is the most pathetic. You’ve got 5 to choose from:
- A single sneeze
- Drying myself with a towel
- Putting my coat on
- Pulling a sheet over myself in bed
- Swinging up the stairs
Vote now!
The winning method will be immortalised, perhaps, in poetry, prose or drama coming to a blog near you. Most likely this one.
I vote for the 'swinging up the stairs'. All the others are things that normal people do anyway. You are the only one who 'swings' up.
ReplyDeleteThe sad thing about that incident as well was that I wasn't even doing it to show off - as though swinging up stairs would impress people... - but it just seemed like the natural way to ascend at the time.
ReplyDeleteImpressive tally! This frisky feline gets 9 lives but you seem to have 10 at least.The 'swinging up the stairs' method also gets my vote. But the 'single sneeze' technique stands in a class of its own for causing shoulder dislocation instead of the more usual back disc(location)injury.
ReplyDeleteWhat's next - 'Legs Eleven'? I'd better keep out of the way. You're an accident waiting to happen and a cat can only take so much drama in a day.