The Trees

 

‘Where have you been?’ I hear you cry.

No? Well…I’ll imagine you’ve been crying anyway. Surely at least one tear was shed around the world. I mean, it’s been just over 2 months since the last entry and so you would be well within your rights to have welled up at the prospect that the blog may have finally bitten the dust, that my brief flurry into the world of shameless self-promotion and random ramblings was now nothing more than a beautiful memory. Well…think again!

Shameless self-promotion is well and truly alive and I am pleased to be using it to advertise the fact that I finally have something out there that you can read besides this increasingly-intermittent blog. At long last, my monologue collection, It was the tree’s fault, has been published (by that well-known publisher, me) and is available to buy from a staggeringly large number of places.

To start with, I have entered the world of Kindle – and all before I’ve got around to owning one myself – and so if you head over to Amazon (you may have heard of it – it’s where everyone buys their Christmas presents the weekend before Christmas when they realise they don’t fancy barging their way through crowds by going into actual shops) then you can pick yourself up a copy for a measly (great word) £2.19. And, just to help you get there a little quicker, here’s a link you may find helpful:

It was the tree's fault - Kindle version

Now, as a fan of equality and diversity, I decided that I simply couldn’t leave it there since there would no doubt be people who felt that e-books were the work of the devil or who were morally-opposed to supporting a website named after a river, and so I have also decided to make my work available to those of you who like websites named after female pop singers from the 70s:

It was the tree's fault - on Lulu.com

And then, just when you thought it was all over, I’ve got a perfect 3rd option for you: my surprisingly-popular-in-India website, www.contemporarychristiandrama.com – not only can you get the paperback and e-book from here but you will also soon be able to download an audio version of the book so that you can be ultra lazy and let me do the reading for you. I’ve got a lovely voice, so I promise you’ll enjoy it…

Talking of lovely things, my cat is most certainly unlovely at the moment. Does anyone out there know how to stop a cat dribbling over every surface in your house? Should we be touched that she wants to spread a little of herself everywhere we go or is this a cry for help, a call for us to bring her – as my wife insists – a companion to help her out of her loneliness? Perhaps she’s stressed? (Yes, apparently cats can be stressed – difficult life that they have.) After the week I’ve had, I’d quite like to sit down and explain what real stress is to her. That’d teach her.

Anyway, this has been a rather poor return to form I realise and so I apologise for the lengthy absence and for the shamelessness of this post. Work has been keeping me away from my writing and so I’ve not managed to get to a laptop much to share my thoughts on wheelie-bins, rain, cat slobber and broken lamps (coming soon!) that often recently. Also, I’ve just started another blog project where I am writing a series of blogs to compile into a book. I know, I’ve only just released one and here I am promising more! I guess I’m more like a bus than I ever thought I was…

Right, time to let you get back on with your lives.