If the shoe fits

Sam and his shoes are walking to work. Quite naturally, they move into conversation.

SHOE:  Looking good up there.

SAM:  Why, thanks. I’d like to say the same about you but -

SHOE:  Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s not my best day. I’ll give you that. To be fair, your balance was a little faulty when approaching that last puddle.

SAM:  Sorry, which one are you again?

SHOE:  Do I look like a left shoe?

SAM:  No…no, you’re quite right. I just wasn’t really expecting this conversation, to be perfectly honest. I’m not used to you speaking.

SHOE:  Perhaps that’s your problem? Did you ever stop to think that I might have some tales to tell? That I might have opinions I’d like to share?

Sam notices the laces have come undone on his right shoe.

SAM:  Is this you sulking?

SHOE:  If you can’t do them up well enough, I don’t see why I should put in the effort to keep everything together.

SAM:  Look, if you want to open up, you can open up. Just don’t hold me up any longer, OK? I’m running late.

Sam does the laces up as tightly as he can.

SHOE:  Nice to see you showing some strength at last.

SAM:  What are you suggesting?

SHOE:  Oh, nothing. Just an observation. A simple observation.

SAM:  Great. Just what I need – a loose-tongued shoe.

SHOE:  Fabulous. A shoe joke. Just what we need to liven us up at 8.45.

SAM:  So now you’re adding mockery to your repertoire, I see.

Sam notices that the laces are loosening.

SHOE:  Just say the word.

SAM:  I did them up! Tightly. I did everything I was supposed to do. Why are you doing this to me?

SHOE:  Paranoia doesn’t look good on you. You do that weird thing with your lip.

SAM:  Look. Why can’t you be more like her?

SHOE:  Her? Why do you assume they’re a she?

SAM:  Well, I just assumed. I mean -

SHOE:  Oh, you assumed, did you? And what did you assume about me then?

Sam notices the laces are flapping around wildly.

SAM:  I assumed…shoe…that you would do your job. And that you’d let me do mine. Is that really so much to ask?

SHOE:  Oh, but this is so much more fun, don’t you think? We’re really bonding this morning. It’s quite a breakthrough day, I feel.

SAM:  Why can’t you just stay tied? Like her.

SHOE:  She’ll come loose one day. Just you wait. Typical, inconsistent leftie. Not like me.

SAM:  Are you saying I should admire your consistency?

SHOE:  Of course you should. You know what you’re getting with me. Every five minutes we’ll meet again, just to check how each other’s getting on. There’s something…beautiful about it, don’t you think?

SAM:  I think you should stop thinking. I think we should all stop thinking and just keep going. It’s too early to think.

SHOE:  You always say that. When will the time ever be right?

Sam smiles at a passer-by.

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Sam would like to apologise for the quality of today’s blog. At least you got to look at a picture of a shoe. Things could be worse. They could always be worse…