I’ll still be a tad sceptical until it pokes its little head out and flutters its eyelids for the first time. Sure, my wife’s waistband might well expand beyond all proportions but there could be any number of explanations for that. And as for the pictures – well, they could be anyone’s baby, couldn’t they? No sign of my blue eyes or a genetic susceptibility to shoulder dislocations quite yet…
It’s all a bit odd really. Out of nowhere we’re suddenly rifling through boxes we’d forgotten even existed, clearing a little bit of space here, a little bit of space there – presumably to give me somewhere to hide when the crying (mine or the baby’s?) gets all a bit too much. We’re painting walls and dismantling things like there’s no tomorrow. Saws are out, hammers are misused and kitchen knives are delightfully deployed to carve through whatever unwanted material we can lay our hands on.
I have begun asking such questions as ‘do you think a child could bang their head on that?’, assuming (quite logically) that reckless abandon will indeed be their middle name. I have stood in the doorway to our living room, hand on chin, picturing just how it will all look, like a film director checking out the suitability of the setting for the unfolding drama ahead. And as for the cat, well, she has been well and truly warned of what lies ahead for her…
Apparently we are now at shrimp size. Last week it was lime. In fact, I believe every measurement used to determine the growth has been something edible. Slightly concerning. Still, I prefer shrimps to lime and so I suppose we’re heading in the right direction. When we finally get up to duck size we’ll really be talking.
I suppose the big question we’re all asking is, what will this mean for the future of this blog?
No? Not even one of you?
Well, just in case, be assured that I have no plans to produce a daily record of every development. In fact, I doubt I’ll even stretch to a weekly or monthly report. But every now and again, up I’ll pop and this page will surprise us all with the fact that it’s finally been updated.
In other news, it’s exam season and so it’d be nice if those I’ve taught produced something readable. Hopefully they might even cause an examiner to smile and go tick-crazy in a flurry of Sam-induced praise that justifies my existence over the past 8 months or so. That would be nice. Achievement is always nice.
As for me, well, I’ve achieved a blog post and that hasn’t happened for a long time, so that’s a metaphorical pat on the back for me. Oh, and I’ve created a baby. At least, I’ve done something to help kick-start a new life and that can’t be too bad, can it?
